that was everything

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first loves
old dreams
childish conjecture

we thought our love could ignite whole cities
in those times when we worshipped the clan,
like elders of old, and ate our insides out over
the silences weighted like hard driven snow and
the doors closed with shattering clangs, hearts
gone cold, icebergs adrift on the sea of being

but shunning became welcome oblivion,
equal parts acceptance and gratitude

listen ~
they danced for a moment
across our blue horizon
that was enough
that was everything

© 2013, poem , Jamie Dedes, All rights reservedPhoto courtesy of morgueFile

a rose and a bee

a rose and a bee
not unlike you and me
in our sweet symbiosis
the hint of heaven scent

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© 2014, poem and photographs, Jamie Dedes, All rights reserved

gold koi swims and brown ducks glide

still surface of pond
gold koi swims and brown ducks glide
joyful dance of ripples

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© © ©2014, haiku and photograph, Jamie Dedes, All rights reserved

Our Sighs Ride the Ebb-tides of Eternity … in memory …

 IMG_20140525_110843673_HDROn May 28, our group for people with life-threatening illnesses celebrated the lives of those who have already passed on. I was unable to attend the memorial service due to bronchitis, but I celebrate them, two of my family, and this wonderful group here today.

Our group is comprised of people from several different religious traditions and is hosted by our local Insight Meditation Center. The group was founded and is run by a Buddhist chaplain who has been very kind and is a stalwart friend to each of us.

Though I still follow the progress of friends in the group and attend our quarterly potlucks, I no longer participate in meetings. By some surely unearned grace, I am now considered “chronic and stable” and I’ve grown to the point that the news of death no longer disturbs me. The major take-away for me from this experience is that the only difference between having a medically predicted expiration date and not knowing when our time will come is that with a diagnosis, we no longer fall into those moments of denial. That’s a huge gift. Huge! The result is that we become present in each moment.

Today is my loving celebration of: Ann, Deborah, Dick, Ernie, Hilda, Mary, Parvathy, Robert, Mary Kate, Steve, Victor and of family lost in recent years: my former husband, Kirby (the most decent man I’ve ever known), and my cousin, Christopher, with whom I grew-up and who was like a brother … 

Each moment and every person is precious and beautiful and the only thing that really matters is how much we have loved and been loved and that – as survivors – we continue to live in the service of our families and those in need. In the end it would seem that’s the best way to honor the family and friends whose memory we treasure .

Eternity flowed deftly through the last eight years
enfolding in her stream eleven with whom we
contemplated Knowledge and Mortality
Looking back, we ponder amazed at love among friends,
……….it blossoms fragrant, as gentle
……….as a dewy rose among thorns and thistles
We thrash and crawl and climb
……….puzzling
……….over the sea and fire that stalks us
Our hearts, cupped in one another’s hands
……….like castanets, beat in unison
Our measured moments grave lines in phantom fears,
……….they float like storm clouds above us
In words of jade, we speak elegies and encomiums
Our smiles mask our sorrows and yearning
Our laughter is love grown wild
We see each other in a thousand shapes and dreams
……….and in nameless names
Our sighs ride the ebb tides of Eternity
…..Another moment:
…..and even the sun will die
…..but our lotus song will echo on ….
……….We have lived! We have loved!

© 2014, words and photograph, Jamie Dedes, All rights reserved